Many people fall into the trap of following the same sexual scripts. Sex looks the same every time, usually involving some kissing, maybe some oral, and then a person with a penis thrusting aggressively into a person with a vagina until the former orgasms.
Learning to move away from these scripts can unlock whole new realms of pleasure, new types of sensations, and more uniquely connective experiences.
One way to throw all the rules out the door is to explore tantric sex and, specifically, tantric massage. Here's what happens during a tantra massage and how to give one to your partner.
Tantric massage is a style of massage or bodywork that draws on the principles of tantra, an ancient spiritual practice originating in Central and Southeast Asia.
In most modern-day practice in the West, tantric massage involves massaging and stimulating the full body with particular focus on sensitive areas like the penis and vulva.
It's sometimes referred to as simply an erotic massage, although a tantra massage also incorporates breathwork, meditation, and mindfulness elements and is not necessarily sexual.
Tantric massage also has a spiritual and energetic component, wherein the practitioner or giver helps move the receiver's energy throughout the body to promote inner healing.
"Unlike other forms of massage, this sacred practice incorporates the tantric essence of shakti, or energy," Tiffany Tanner, a tantra teacher and massage therapist in Arizona, tells mbg. "When skillfully incorporating this universal force into a massage, it can touch the deepest layers and aspects of a human being and be a profound instrument of spiritual and emotional healing."
Tantra stems from ancient Hindu, Buddhist, and Jain traditions, though most tantra taught and practiced in the West can be referred to as neotantra, a modern adaptation that focuses specifically on sacred sexuality as opposed to the other spiritual and religious elements of traditional tantra.
"The experience we offer is not intended for the tantric purist," Genevieve Duarte, a tantric massage expert says of the tantric massages offered at their New York studio. "If anyone desires to explore and commit to the more traditional teachings of tantra, then this experience can serve as a beginning platform."
- With a tantra massage, an orgasm is not an end goal, while this is the case with an erotic massage.
- The sexual energy is not only generated, it is also worked with. While with an erotic massage this energy continuously builds up in the pelvic region to eventually end in a (classic) orgasm, during a tantra massage the energy is constantly spread over the rest of the body, which may lead to a long-lasting full body orgasm. This only happens in complete surrender and connection with your body, which will linger for days or even weeks.